Lady luck has left the building.
Insert horror movie doom music, Friday the 13th hath arrived, bringing with it a sense of general unease. But why the dread?
The reason for the unlucky association stretches back centuries to Nordic folklore and beyond. According to myth the twelve primary deities of the Nordic pantheon threw a dinner party in Valhalla (fun).
The trickster god Loki showed up uninvited as the thirteenth guest and shot his arrow through Balder the Beautiful, god of gladness. The death of Balder brought grief to the world and solidified the bad vibes of the number thirteen.
Fateful feasts continue in the Christian tradition. At the last supper, thirteen bros were present and Judas, redheaded betrayer of JC was the last to arrive, furthering the association of the number with an invitation for death or ruin. Friday comes into biblical play in several ways; Jesus was crucified on the Friday following the last supper and it is also understood that Friday marked the day that Cain killed Abel and Eve offered Adam the evil apple. Yikes.
Friday the 13th has played host to a myriad of moments in history that have further stoked its reputation as a baddy. Notable among these are the arrest and subsequent massacre of the Knights Templar in 1307, the bombing of Buckingham Palace in 1940, and the murders of Kitty Genovese in 1964 and Tupac Shakur in 1996.
Fear of this date is as vast as its history is long; there are even two terms to describe the phobia, the root of each sounding remarkably like Ikea furniture, paraskavedekatriaphobia and friggatriskaidekaphobia, respectively.
This Friday the 13th intersects with Mercury retrograde. In astrology, the planet Mercury governs short term travel, communication and exchange. When it goes retrograde, as it does for a few weeks a few times each year, these areas of life are compromised. Generally speaking; expect delays, the resurgence of exes, system failures of all kinds and a regrettable text or two.
This retrograde occurs in the fast talking oft shortsighted sign of Gemini, so lips are bound to be loose and peace and quiet hard to come by. Friday the 13th has no specific bearing astrologically but it does fall in the midst of this retrograde and a startlingly powerful season of eclipses. The key to navigating today and the days to come is grace, the grace period you will need to arrive on time safely and and the grace you can extend to yousrelf and others when words falter and meaning is lost. With this in mind I bring you sage advice for your sign this Friday.
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
Scream into a pillow rather than the face of a loved one or stranger. Avoid contact sports as your coordination is at an all time low.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
You’re likely not leaving the house today. Sew seeds of generosity and good will by lavishly tipping your delivery driver.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
Before speaking, write down your thoughts. Repeat them out loud. Swallow the paper and move on.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
Whoever it was, whatever they said, they didn’t mean it but you’re not free as long as you believe it.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
You can offer counsel without needing control. Restraint is the mark of true royalty.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
That time, eight years ago, when you did/said that embarrassing thing in front of that hot person? If you’ve evolved, you’re absolved.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
Commit to a single thing. Maybe bangs, maybe wallpaper. Anything short of adopting a pet. You’re not ready for that.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
A shadow lover, you thrive on superstitious occasions and play hide and go seek with things that go bump in the night. Go ahead and wear your leather cape outside today.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
Resist the draw of a $13 flash tattoo. I promise you won’t want an eight ball on your leg tomorrow.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
You are too sensible and dutifully prepared for catastrophe to even be reading this article. Planning for the worst doesn’t restrict you from believing the best is yet to come.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
Pay close attention to the nature of your thoughts today. Do not astral project while driving or using a Neti pot.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
Do not respond to that text/DM/smoke signal/postcard. They haven’t changed pal, you’ve forgotten just how toxic they can be.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.