DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter married a wonderful man, and I happily support their union. My son, however, is about to marry a young lady whom I really can’t stand. She tells my son wicked, untrue things about me, and almost alienated him from me. She insists that I treat him like a child instead of a grown man, which I can assure you I do not. My dilemma is that my son asked me to give a speech at his upcoming nuptials. I know that I am obliged to say complimentary things about both of them. I wrote out a lovely speech, but will have a hard time actually saying it, as she is so odious. Should I just go ahead and give the speech, knowing that this is the only time I will have to do this? Or should I try to find some clever wording to avoid being a complete hypocrite?
GENTLE READER: Unless you are a second Oscar Wilde (and perhaps even if you are), it is dangerous to think you are clever enough to give an insulting speech without being caught out. So perhaps it would be better to put on your best party face and give your “lovely” speech — after having a neutral person review the text to ensure that it is not likely to cause ill will for years to come.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)