Asking Eric: My husband died and now his sister keeps blowing up my phone

Dear Eric: My spouse of 38 years died a year ago.

He was 72, I’m now 72. He was a bit of a loner and had a strained relationship with his only sibling, his younger sister.

The last 10 years he had completely cut communication off with her. Honestly, the main reason was that he just didn’t want to be her friend. She’s a nice, helpful person, but he was who he was, and he did what he did.

When he died I reached out to her in a sisterly way and included her in the funeral service. She was delighted. She immediately bonded with me, calls me sister and started texting me several times a week.

This intimate connection with her is unwanted. I do not want to receive these almost daily texts. They come with great detail and photos of her everyday life. For the last few months, I have not responded to any texts, but the hint is ignored.

I have no idea how to stop this texting relationship without hurting her feelings. I need your advice on how best to end my texting relationship with her, and basically to keep our relationship at a comfortable distance.

– Personal Space

Dear Space: Establishing a new bond with your sister-in-law is a lovely, and loving, gesture. It may feel like you’re risking reopening old wounds by setting a texting boundary but think of it as the clear communication that is the lifeblood of every healthy relationship. Reach out via phone or in person and tell her that you are glad that you’re in each other’s lives and you appreciate her, but you’re not a texter and you’d love to find another way to catch up with each other.

She’s enthusiastic, and perhaps hungry to replace the relationship she didn’t have with your husband. There’s nothing wrong with that, per se, but if it doesn’t work for you, it’s neither unkind nor unfair to redirect.