Asking Eric: My sister and I can’t agree on how to split my late mother’s inheritance

Dear Eric: When my mother passed away, her trust was split mostly between me and my sister, with a small percentage to my sister’s two kids.

My mother and my sister lived together. My mother put the down payment on their house, and they split the mortgage and utilities. My sister covered most of the mortgage.

I have always imagined gifting a percentage of my stake in the house to my sister because she has been responsible for providing care for our mother and shared the expenses. In general, I have no interest in forcing her to sell the house, pay me rent, or buy me out, but also do not want to be financially responsible for the mortgage or upkeep, considering that she lives there, and I don’t need to benefit financially until she decides it’s time to sell the house.

My sister recently said she thinks she deserves more stake in the house. I don’t disagree, however, from my understanding, she has also received much more financial support than I have over the years (as well as a very affordable place to live).

Her kids are also receiving a more significant portion of the estate than was intended. All in all, her side is inheriting 55 percent of the estate and I am inheriting 45 percent.

Originally, I was thinking I would gift her 25 percent to consider her investment in the house over the years, but with the kids’ percentages, I was thinking maybe 10 percent to 15 percent would be fairer.

What do you think?

– Shared Home

Dear Home: In the best cases, inheritances, wills and trusts are our ways of communicating our wishes and our love beyond death. That can sometimes get misconstrued, though.

If I’m reading correctly, the house isn’t yet paid off, so it’s less an inheritance at the moment than it is a shared expense. The trust division doesn’t seem to account for any of your sister’s past mortgage payments. Instead, it’s as if they were rent payments to your mother. This is a fine way to think of them but doesn’t seem fair in this circumstance.

Indeed, if the 55 percent also includes her children’s share and she’s going to be solely responsible for mortgage and upkeep going forward, she’s getting the short end of the stick.

One option is to have her calculate the amount she’s paid into the mortgage and the amount it will take to get it paid off, and, when she sells it, subtract that amount from the price of the house and divide the rest per the percentages in the trust.

I’m loath to suggest pulling out calculators when it comes to inheritance that is so wrapped up in other factors you can’t put a price tag on, like caregiving. However, if you don’t want to be on the hook for any of the house’s finances, having communication about who is footing what bills going forward will make it clearer what’s fair down the line.