DEAR ABBY: I dated a colleague when I was 22 but broke it off because I couldn’t deal with the fact that he was several inches shorter than me. I did not tell him why. I just said, “It’s me, not you.”
I am now in my 60s, have had a very successful career, never married and see online that he became a distinguished researcher. In his online picture, he looks like a sweet older man now, and I would give anything to reconnect with him. Would this be foolish?
Was I too insensitive at 22 to understand that I likely hurt him? Do you think he would forgive me if I got in touch with him now? He lives far away, so an in-person meeting would be out of the question in the near term. Would an email be OK? He’s in his early 70s and not married. — STUPID THEN IN OHIO
DEAR ‘STUPID’: At 22, you weren’t insensitive; you were shallow. Look at this from that man’s perspective. What is he supposed to think when he receives an email 40 years after a colleague dumped him by saying, “It’s me, not you”? Remember, as successful as he is now, he is not any taller. My advice is to leave it alone, find someone you can be physically attracted to who lives geographically closer, appreciates how successful you have been in your career and is open to a relationship.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069. Copyright 2024, Andrews, McMeel Syndication.