DEAR ABBY: I had my four children by the time I was 24. My oldest is a senior, while my others are a sophomore, eighth grader and a seventh grader. I feel, at times, that I go through a grieving process more now than ever as they are getting older and time is racing by so incredibly fast.
Is it normal to feel sadness and grief over your children growing up, knowing they are going to be gone in a few years? My oldest just joined the military and leaves after her final year of high school. I became a mom at such a young age that it’s all I have ever known and dedicated my life to (besides being a wife and health care worker).
Is what I am feeling normal and, if so, does the emotional part of it ever get easier? I pride myself on being the best I can be as a mother and provider, and I am having a hard time — especially with my oldest — knowing that I have to let go. — INVESTED MAMA IN TENNESSEE
DEAR MAMA: People experience “empty nest syndrome” to varying degrees. You are a successful parent, but you are also more than that. You have raised your daughter to (young) adulthood and prepared her for independence. That was your job. She is not dying, you are not losing her and she isn’t “disappearing over a sand dune.” She now has a chance to use the skills you have taught her to create a successful future.
Dry your tears. Be proud of yourself. Be proud of her. Now that your children are older, explore activities that will enrich your own life. You have earned it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069. Copyright 2024, Andrews, McMeel Syndication.