Dear Annie: My husband and I have a 6-year-old daughter, “Eliza,” and we recently have not been seeing eye to eye in terms of how to handle discipline. For example, last week, when she refused to put her toys away after playing with them, I told her she couldn’t watch TV until it was done. She threw a fit, and instead of backing me up, my husband told her it was OK and helped her put the toys away himself. Another time, when she talked back to me at the dinner table, I asked her to apologize, but he interrupted and said she was just expressing herself.
These situations leave me feeling undermined and like I’m the only one enforcing rules. I don’t want her to feel she can pit us against each other, and I have also noticed myself getting more and more resentful when he takes her side over mine. I just think we need to be consistent, but I don’t know if it’s possible when our views on discipline seem fundamentally different. — Feeling Like the Bad Cop
Dear Bad Cop: Try talking to your husband during a calm moment when your daughter isn’t around, and make sure you start the conversation by acknowledging you both want what’s best for her. Then, work together to create a basic set of rules you both agree to follow. Consistency is key.
Parenting is a team sport, and when kids see their parents supporting each other, they feel more secure — and more likely to cooperate.
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