DEAR MISS MANNERS: For the past four years, my wife and I have hosted a New Year’s Eve family party at our home. Adults occupy the upstairs, and children (roughly ages 8-13) enjoy themselves in the basement, with frequent parental supervision. The party now attracts nearly 100 adults and children. Everyone tells us they have a great time and they appreciate not having to sit at home. Starting last year, though, many of the parents of our older daughter’s friends (she is 12) decided to drop their kids off and go out for the evening, rather than joining the party themselves, as they had done each year prior. So, we have ended up providing free babysitting for about 20 tweens, which can be quite a challenge. We feel we’re being taken advantage of, but we don’t want our kids to miss out on the fun with their friends, and we truly enjoy the time we spent with their parents. How can we politely inform people that we expect they will stay at the party with their children, rather than using us to save $100 or more on babysitting fees for the evening?
GENTLE READER: Who has been doing the parental supervision of this basement full of children? You? Miss Manners will offer you some help, although — sorry! — she does not plan to be in your basement on New Year’s Eve. Before the party, make and distribute a schedule for parents to take turns checking in on the children. Those who have left early in the past — or even dropped off their kids and fled — should be assigned slots near midnight.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)