DEAR MISS MANNERS: At a dinner party, the hostess had set a lovely table with flowers and candles. I complimented her on the setting. Later, as dinner started, I found the flowers blocking my view of the guest across from me, preventing any potential conversation. I was interested in talking with this guest, so I asked the hostess if we could move the tall flowers so we could see each other. (Some beautiful, shorter flowers and tall candles remained on the table.) She moved them, but muttered loud enough for everyone to hear that she had set a beautiful table and I was ruining the look. It was very embarrassing, but I thanked her for moving them and didn’t say anything else. Later, my husband told me I shouldn’t have said anything. I felt I handled it appropriately and the host should have been more gracious.
GENTLE READER: If your husband was suggesting you did anything wrong, Miss Manners will disagree. But perhaps he was merely suggesting that, since you both know your hostess, her reaction was predictable: You were lucky she did not lower the level of the flowers by emptying the vase into your lap. If it happens again, you could repeat your compliment of the flowers when asking that they be moved, or perhaps get a firm grip on them as you make the request.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)