DEAR MISS MANNERS: My first pregnancy has been 10 years in the making due to infertility. I would like to tell some specific friends the news before I announce it in general on social media. However, when I try to start a conversation with these friends, such as via text, they talk about themselves and don’t ask how I am, so I don’t have a good lead-in to my announcement. I am not sure that I should call them out of the blue, since I usually don’t, and I don’t want them to think something is wrong. I am hesitant to just share the news with no lead-in, since one friend was somewhat taken aback when I completely sprung it on her. My husband thinks I should just text people with “I’m pregnant!” and call it a day, or wait until the public announcement — and then if these friends are offended that I didn’t tell them directly, at least I tried. But I feel strange about not directly telling some of my close friends simply because I never got a “How are you?” in reply. Am I overthinking this?
GENTLE READER: Or perhaps you are underthinking the quality of these friendships with people who never seem to ask after you. Miss Manners is not sure they deserve a private announcement. But if you think they do, she suggests you call them (out of the blue — gasp!) and before they get a chance to launch into their own lives or assume any misfortune, say, “I have good news!” and then proceed. This will also spare them wondering how you are feeling — since it seems they would not think to otherwise ask.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
