Dear Abby: I have been talking to a man for a little more than a year. Things are wonderful between us, but he doesn’t seem to want to make a commitment. It’s not that I feel he’s using me for sex, because he shows me off to his friends, we go out together and he texts or calls daily.
He’s kind, and I don’t have a single bad thing to say about him. BUT, when I bring up going further, he runs in the opposite direction. He clams up and I can barely get a word out of him. How can things be so great, yet he is so unsure about wanting me to be his official girlfriend?
We act like each other’s significant other without having the title. We have taken numerous vacations together and he trusts me to watch his house when he’s out of town. I feel confused, and as much as I hate to admit it, I’m hurt. I know he cares for me, but at what point is it time for me to move on?
— Committed in Missouri
Dear Committed: Your question is a valid one. You have been seeing someone for a little more than a year who has made it obvious that he wants to keep his options open. Because he refuses to discuss the issue, you need to decide how much more time you think is practical to invest in a relationship that may go nowhere. After that, set a deadline and be prepared to move on.
You appear to want different things. I cannot make such a personal decision for you; this is something you will have to decide for yourself.
Previously
Dear Abby: What can I do about my arrogant jerk adult grandson who shows no respect?
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069. Copyright 2024, Andrews, McMeel Syndication.
