Dear Abby: I am a stepmother to a beautiful woman I love very much. She has given us three beautiful granddaughters and a handsome grandson. Sadly, my husband has a rare and aggressive form of cancer, and it looks terminal. My question is, after his passing, do I continue to be a stepmother?
I know it’s most likely up to her, but I’m curious about the proper protocol. This will help me determine how I introduce her to others. Will she always be my stepdaughter, or does she become my late husband’s daughter?
— Unknown in New York
Dear Unknown: When it comes to love, the rules are not important. This conversation is premature. After your husband’s funeral, ask his daughter what she would like you to call her in the future, and assure her that you love her as though she is your natural child, and would not want to use any label that would make her feel less than that.
Previously
Dear Abby: ‘Born again’ daughter-in-law, son make me uneasy with religious pressure
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Dear Abby: I’m divorced, and moved in with Mom, who treats me like a child
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069. Copyright 2024, Andrews, McMeel Syndication.
