DEAR MISS MANNERS: My best friend and I frequently get together for lunch at local restaurants. I am sometimes embarrassed by what my friend says to servers, and I don’t know how I can get her to stop.
If the service is good, she is very effusive with her praise, and ties up the server by chatting as if they were now BFFs. If she thinks the service is subpar, she proceeds to instruct the server on how to do better in the future. Mind you, she has never worked in a restaurant.
One time we had a young waiter who was in training, and my friend was telling him how to stack up the plates as he cleared the table. I couldn’t help myself and just blurted out, “Please stop.”
Should I ignore this from now on? What could I say to get her to realize that this is embarrassing?
GENTLE READER: If “Please stop” did not work, Miss Manners is afraid a more polite approach will not, either.
But if similarly pressed, she would say, “Let’s let these servers do their job and just enjoy one another’s company, shall we?”
She would omit the part where she tells your friend that stacking plates as you remove them is improper in the first place.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
