ATLANTA — Boy, my stomach is growling and it’s still a couple of hours till dinner time. Those Snickers bars in the candy aisle sure look good. My doctor keeps telling me that I should make healthier choices, but I’m not sure. Is a carrot or an apple really a healthier alternative to a Snickers? Do doctors really know? The ingredients in a Snickers are listed right there on the side of the wrapper. But there are no ingredients listed on the side of an apple. I feel like I need more information so I can make an informed snack decision.
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I’ve got to pick up my wife at the airport tonight. Should I drive my 2012 Camry or should I borrow my brother-in-law’s Harley Davidson? Most people would probably say that my Camry is the safer choice, but is it really? The Harley would definitely be a lot more fun. And can anyone accurately measure safety? Is it truly possible? And maybe Harleys are safer than people think. Maybe we just don’t have access to enough information.
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Co-writers and lifelong friends Rob DeWitt, now of Atlanta, and Charlie Tercek, now living in Beverly Hills, discovered their passion for politics in U.S. history class at Hudson’s Western Reserve Academy in 1978. Charlie is an avid drinker of decaf cappuccinos. Rob swears by decaf espresso. This election season, they’re trying to read the minds of undecided voters.
Gee whiz, my kid won’t stop asking for a pet dog. Guess I’m going to have to break down and get him one. The thing is, I don’t know what breed is best for a family with small children. Everything I read online says that a Labrador Retriever is a safe choice. Apparently, Labs are big and friendly and great with kids. But who’s writing these articles? An animal expert? A person with no kids? AI? I have no idea. Plus, I’ve got to admit that Rottweilers look pretty bad ass. Wouldn’t it be cool to have a Rottweiler instead of a Lab? People say they’re dangerous and impossible to train, but where’s the data? I need more information.
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I dunno where I should take my family for vacation this year. The kids want to go to Disney World, but what about the Medieval Torture Museum in Chicago? That sounds pretty interesting, right? Sure, Disney’s got “The Little Mermaid’s Magic Adventure,” but the Torture Museum’s got a real iron maiden. How cool is that? My mother says that museum isn’t appropriate for kids, and that choices like this are why my wife left me six years ago, but what does Mom know? Who died and made her so smart? I guess I need more info.
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Wow, the election is just a few weeks away and I’ve got to decide who to vote for. But I can’t make up my mind. Donald Trump cracks me up — all those memes about people eating dogs are hilarious — and it was a hoot to watch him when he was on that TV show. “You’re fired!” But my niece and nephew say I’d be making a mistake if I voted for him. What do they know that I don’t? I wish I had more information.
Co-writers Rob DeWitt and Charlie Tercek are lifelong friends who first met in Mr. Conly’s U.S. History class at Western Reserve Academy in Hudson, Ohio, in 1978. As they see it, choosing which toppings to put on your pizza is hard. Choosing which presidential candidate to vote for this year is not.
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