Dear Annie: My sister’s boyfriend is a sex offender and the rest of the family doesn’t know

Dear Annie: I need your help with a difficult situation. My sister has been dating a man for two years, and though I’ve only met him a handful of times, I’ve respected him as her boyfriend. However, while preparing for my daughter’s wedding, we discovered that he is a Level 3 sex offender. My sister confirmed this when I asked, saying he’s served his time and has been doing well since.

Now I’m left feeling shocked, disgusted and unsure of what to do. Our parents and brothers don’t know, and I’m struggling with how to move forward. — Confused and Concerned

Dear Confused and Concerned: This is a tough situation. It’s understandable that you’re shocked and unsure of what steps to take, especially because it’s your daughter’s wedding.

An honest, kind conversation with your sister is essential. While she has the right to make her own choices, your family deserves to know the truth, especially if his presence impacts family dynamics. Approach the discussion calmly, expressing how this affects everyone, not just her.

For the wedding, you have the right to protect your daughter and family. If his attendance makes you uncomfortable, discuss boundaries with your sister and find a way to prioritize your daughter’s special day while maintaining family peace.

Seeking the help of a professional will help you prepare for these conversations. It’s not easy.