DEAR MISS MANNERS: I let a young couple I know use my vacation house. I asked them to bring me the used sheets and towels after their stay, since the laundry facilities at the house are unreliable.
They did as I asked, and also left a bottle of wine with the linens. I assumed our transaction was finished. However, I just got a note asking if I had received the wine, implying that I owed them a thank-you.
Do I?
GENTLE READER: Yes, but Miss Manners notices that there are two letters of thanks missing here.
You have made the common mistake of believing that a present given as a gesture of thanks does not require thanks in return. A letter of thanks does not require acknowledgment, but a present does.
And no, it is not an endless cycle: See sentence above.
Speaking of which, such a letter was due from the young couple. The bottle of wine was all very well, but the loan of a house is an enormous present that deserves a written outpouring of heartfelt gratitude.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)