DEAR MISS MANNERS: Maybe I’m the one lacking in manners for bringing this up, but: Are there etiquette norms for death notices?
My pet peeve is when there is no indication given for the cause of death, in particular for the young. I believe if you are spending the time and money to notify me of the death, then common courtesy dictates that I know at least if it were sudden/unexpected, or occurring after a lengthy illness.
With that information, at least I wouldn’t feel like such a blockhead when sending a card or walking into the wake.
Your thoughts?
GENTLE READER: That you need not include the cause of death in your condolence letter, merely your sympathy to the bereaved. While it is natural to be curious, and we all like to be informed, those in mourning are not required to disclose that information.
If you must know, Miss Manners suggests you ask someone who is not so closely associated with the deceased. But still, do so gently.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)