Dear Abby: I’ve been dating a wonderful guy for the last six months. Our relationship is great, but he has an ex who is much younger than us (a 16-year age gap). He started seeing her while she was pregnant by someone else. He stayed with her until the baby was 3, but, given the circumstances, he continues to get the baby for weekends, etc. He is not on the birth certificate, but the baby knows only him as her dad.
My problem is the ex. She constantly calls or texts him for money or to say she bought things for the little girl. She has called him to come over to hang out, and, most recently, asked him to co-sign for a new car for her.
I’m not OK with the lack of boundaries, and I have said so. He hears me and has told her several times to back off, but she doesn’t listen. It’s causing arguments between us. The child isn’t his actual child, but that fact obviously isn’t changing anything. Should I walk away?
— Third Wheel in the East
Dear Third Wheel: Your boyfriend is clearly attached to the little girl. You can’t change that, nor should you try. That said, he is still with you in spite of the fact that his ex may be trying to get him (and his financial support) back. Whether you should grit your teeth and tolerate it isn’t something I can answer. Your boyfriend can, however, and whether you should walk away is a question you should be asking him.
Previously
Dear Abby: How do I cope with the silence from close relatives that deepens the loss of my mother?
Dear Abby: My handsy brother-in-law wouldn’t leave me alone, but my sister thinks I’m the villain
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069. Copyright 2024, Andrews, McMeel Syndication.
