Dear Abby: I recently attended a funeral for a family member. During the 90-minute service, my great-nieces and nephews (ages 3 to 6) were running around the church. Their parents said nothing and allowed them to continue.
Following the service, we were all invited to a sit-down meal in the banquet room of an upscale restaurant. Again, the children (ages 3 to 13) were allowed to run around, screaming and body-slamming each other on the dance floor in the center of the room. The noise became deafening with no regard to the older attendees. Again, the parents seemed oblivious to the noise and did nothing to stop them.
My son is being married in two months. Several of the children who attended the funeral will be in attendance at the wedding. How can I address the fact that I don’t want the same performance from these kids at the wedding and reception?
My husband and I are putting out a large sum of money for this event, and I don’t want to leave early because of the deafening noise and embarrassment.
— Dreading it in Colorado
Dear Dreading It: I don’t blame you for not wanting anyone, regardless of age, to detract from your son’s wedding. Now that you are aware of the young relatives’ behavior and lack of discipline, you will have to deal with it directly. Inform the parents that this behavior will not be tolerated or welcome. When you receive pushback (and you will), all you have to do is point to what happened at the funeral and dinner afterward.
Previously
Dear Abby: ‘Born again’ daughter-in-law, son make me uneasy with religious pressure
Dear Abby: We found a nifty way to make gifts to grandchildren more fulfilling
Dear Abby: I’m divorced, and moved in with Mom, who treats me like a child
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069. Copyright 2024, Andrews, McMeel Syndication.
