Actress Gillian Anderson’s new book provides insight into women’s sexual fantasies. A year and a half ago, she called on women to submit their erotic ideas anonymously – now a selection of the letters has been published in the book “Want”. In total, she received letters totaling almost 1,000 pages, Anderson writes in the foreword to the collection of texts.
“I was surprised that many women still keep their fantasies to themselves today. Some are strong, proud and self-confident and celebrate their sexual power, but many also feel shame and guilt because they long for satisfaction and fulfillment in sex,” explains the 56-year-old.
The actress, who comes from the USA and lives in London, became known through the mystery series “The X-Files”. Since then, she has filmed numerous projects, such as the series “Sex Education”, in which she plays a sex therapist.
Insight into intimate worlds of thought
In our society, women are often pigeonholed and reduced to certain identities and roles, writes Anderson, “but the fantasies gathered here prove that no woman has just one identity.” If she could hope for one thing from the book, it would be to provide food for thought “so that we can enter into a new dialogue about the sexual power of women.”
The texts get straight to the point. They are short glimpses into a wide variety of scenarios. Some are more predictable (“I want my partners to idolize me”) than others (“Sometimes I am one of the survivors of a zombie apocalypse”). They are about passionate moments with men, women, many people. Many of them are so intense that when you read them on the train you wonder whether someone should be looking over your shoulder.
“There are so many expectations placed on us women”
What the collection also shows is that many women still struggle with feelings of shame, insecurities and the question of what actually turns them on. “Most of the things that happen in porn are tailored to men,” says one comment, “and there are so many expectations placed on us women that I hardly know whether something really turns me on or whether I’m just doing what’s expected of me.”
The book is intended to be a follow-up to Nancy Friday’s “Women’s Sexual Fantasies” from 1973. She did not include scenarios that crossed the line into illegality, Anderson said in a BBC interview. Nevertheless, there were letters that bordered on dangerous topics. Not including them would have felt inadequate. But that does not mean that women want that to happen, Anderson warned.
A psychologist quoted by the BBC expressed a similar view. Fantasies about extreme submission or violent acts, for example, are not meant to be acted out. “They provide a safe place to explore interests and desires that are considered taboo, dangerous or socially unacceptable.”
Gillian Anderson’s own fantasy
The value of “Want” lies in showing the variety of female fantasies and the complex thoughts that women have about them. Sometimes candles flicker and the soundtrack of “Dirty Dancing” plays, sometimes it’s about bodily fluids or an encounter with the musician Harry Styles. Often it’s simply about the desire to be admired.
“Reading the letters reminded me that there is no such thing as a typical fantasy, just as there is no such thing as a typical ‘woman’. What we want from our sex lives is as different as what we want from work, our relationships and love,” Anderson writes. “We are all different, even within ourselves.”
The actress also wrote down her own fantasy, anonymously of course, like the other authors. Anderson told the BBC that she was surprised at how long it took her to write it, even though she feels comfortable with the topic of sexuality. “I didn’t expect to be so shy and nervous about it myself.”
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