DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work in health care and frequently call patients regarding their appointments. I use their first names if we are already acquainted, and Mr./Mrs. for people I am not familiar with — and for older patients, who seem to prefer the formality.
However, I am less confident about addressing patients who have, or have had, titles. If the paperwork says “Dr.” (as in a Ph.D.), am I supposed to address them as such? I have yet to have a duke or duchess, but I do have members of congress, judges, senators, religious leaders and the like — as well as people who have held such positions in the past.
My fallback is to ask people how they would like me to address them. But I wonder if there are etiquette guidelines about this.
GENTLE READER: Indeed, there are. Miss Manners refers you to her extensive written guidelines on the subject, and those of others.
But as you seem to be improvising — and in a somewhat haphazard fashion that is going to get you into trouble — she recommends you start applying what you call your “fallback” to everyone.
Why don’t we start asking everyone, as part of the standard paperwork, how they would prefer to be addressed — and then use that?
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)