DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have twice invited a friend to parties after asking if the dates were open for her, and she accepted each time. About a week before each party, she said that she was going to do something else and wouldn’t be coming.
Am I being overly sensitive to be a bit bothered by this?
My parents always told me that once you accept an invitation, you honor it. Backing out later (unless there is an emergency or illness) gives the impression that you’ve found something better to do.
GENTLE READER: Your parents and Miss Manners were in agreement up until they veered off into euphemism.
Miss Manners would have concluded by saying that backing out gives the impression you — or in this case, your friend — have no manners. After all, there is little doubt your friend preferred the second option, since she took it.
To answer your question, you are not being overly sensitive: A proper amount of sensitivity would have precluded offering a second invitation after having been once snubbed.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
