DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a close friend who is getting divorced because her husband told her he didn’t want to be married anymore. He “wants to be free.”
Of course, she is devastated.
She has asked my husband and me to join her, her son and the ex for dinner, saying she wants us to see him before he moves. I have already told her that I’m upset by the situation, that I won’t be sending him off on a white horse and that such a dinner would be awkward.
What should I do?
GENTLE READER: First, you should understand what your friend wants you to do. It is not that she wants you to bid farewell to her fleeing husband. She wants a buffer so that he does not behave badly — possibly in reaction to her own planned bad behavior at this meal.
Miss Manners hardly blames you for wanting no part of this. You would be lucky if it were only awkward, and did not turn nasty.
But this is a close friend in crisis, and surely you want to help her. The kindest thing would be to talk her out of what is likely to be a disastrous dinner, with or without you.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)