DEAR MISS MANNERS: A pair of neighbors hosted my wife and me for an impromptu dinner, to which we contributed a nice salad. The food was fine, the apartment lovely. We have sent them a thank-you note. I know that we aren’t required to reciprocate by inviting them to dinner in our apartment (thank goodness). But honestly, I don’t want to reciprocate at all. One of them is a nonstop talker who lacks a “mute” button; the other, though necessarily quieter, is a bit on the supercilious side. We’re sure to see them again. We all live in a nice retirement community, where there are restaurants and a lot of socializing. Do we have to invite them to join us at a restaurant at some point? If so, may we try to “dilute” them by inviting others? And how long are we allowed to delay?
GENTLE READER: Your confidence that you are not required to reciprocate in your apartment, though technically correct, startles Miss Manners, as she thinks of the restaurant alternative as an escape clause more than a proper equivalent. However, your real problem is that you did not like this couple and do not want to continue the friendship. The correct solution is not to delay: You need to reciprocate promptly — though you may throw in as many other guests as you can manage. You may then discover that you are busy when this couple issues subsequent invitations.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
